Walmart People

How many of you have seen the peopleofwalmart.com website? Come on, admit it. You looked at fifteen pages before you could quit. It’s amazingly funny and shocking and campy. I immediately thought of the Walmart Bingo game my kids sometimes play on boring summer evenings (there’s a Christmas version for boring winter vacation time!)

This stuff is funny because these people seem so clueless as to why other people are staring. They don’t seem to realize that their car modifications are not cool. That their fishnet stockings don’t quite blend with the zebra striped top that isn’t long enough to cover the beer belly. They don’t get that they really don’t look much like Elvis, and that if Elvis were still with us, he wouldn’t look like that anymore either. Where do people like that come from? Why are they running around loose? Why don’t they know how funny they look?

We can laugh at them because we know that we are ever so much more sophisticated and fashionable. Never would we appear in public that way! Not for any reason! Well, except for the other day when I stayed home from work sick and my daughter needed me to bring her geometry book to school. I tried to get her to come and meet me at the car, but she couldn’t. I had on warmup pants. That wasn’t too bad. I combed my hair. It was flat and flyaway, but it seemed passable. The tshirt was snug and I wasn’t wearing a bra, and putting one on seemed way too much trouble, so I put on the other daughter’s pullover jacket (even though it was 80 degrees.) Then I put on my flipflops and took the book to school. Fortunately, only the principal saw me. The look on her face was priceless. If she’d had a camera, I might even now be gracing a web page with a funny caption so that other people could point and laugh.

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